Monday, February 28, 2005

da vinci code

I have just looked up Amazon to see any news on the new book in my favorite series, Harry Potter (July 15, save the date! I think I'll wear my Halloween witch costume to the store :0) While browing around, I noticed that a new book by Dan Brown, The Solomon Key, is coming out soon as well.

Dan Brown is an author of The Da Vinci Code , a best selling novel. I got The Da Vinci code on my birthday a year ago, and read it in one sitting. I have been interested in early Christianity for a while now, and the book certainly hit on some concepts that I came across before, and some I wasn’t aware of.

So it’s a fun read. However, people seem to forget that it’s just a piece of fiction!

I have quite a few Christian friends. Most of them are both intelligent and very nice. They do, however, possess a certain black and white view of reality; it’s full of contradictions that are apparent to any observer but escapes them completely.

For instance, the whole Harry Potter series is a big no-no. They genuinely fear that a volume of The Prisoner of Azkaban could jump out of its shelf and bewitch them and their kids on the spot. One of my friends (the more liberal one of all, mind you) said that she read it and kind of liked it, but was surprised that the Hogwarts celebrated Christmas. “It’s impossible, they can’t be doing that – they are witches!!” I am not making it up, honestly.

The Da Vinci Code elicits an even more extreme reaction. It is perceived as a rabid attack at the very tenets of faith, or rather, at those aspects of faith that have to do with literal interpretation of religious texts. It is the latter ones that people for some reason hold most dear. Is it perhaps because such approach does away with any questions, and thus is most comforting for the ‘true believer’ type?

So, just as there is a Christian Harry Potter, a ‘wholesome’ alternative to the JK Rowling’s bestseller, there are plenty of books that debunk the claims in The Da Vinci Code. To me, the sheer volume of those indicates that their authors are riding Dan Brown’s tail of fame. However, there is obviously high demand for those little ‘guides’ by people, who want to reaffirm their threatened view of the world. I was told of Catholic school teachers that always keep copies of those guides on their desk, so that they can address and blow to smithereens any heresy that the students may pick up from The Da Vinci code. Those teachers apparently have quite a choice, as evidenced by the following sample from Amazon:

The Truth Behind the Da Vinci Code: A Challenging Response to the Bestselling Novel, by Richard Abanes (this guy also wrote Harry Potter and the Bible … enough said)

Da Vinci Code Decoded: The Truth Behind the New York Times #1 Bestseller, by Martin Lunn

The Da Vinci Code: Fact or Fiction, by Hank Hanegraaff, Paul L. Maier

The above-mentioned are self-described ‘concise’ guides that help you ‘turn debate about the book into an evangelistic opportunity’ (that’s scary, but again, I am not making this up!).

There is another book in the mix, Truth and Fiction in the Da Vinci Code: A Historian Reveals What We Really Know about Jesus, Mary Magdalene, and Constantine, by Bart D. Ehrman, and it appears to be different. I have not read this book, but I have listened to Professor Ehrman’s courses on early Christianity that are available through the teaching company. He is a professor of religious studies, who started out as a believer, but in course of his studies came to realize that Christianity today bears little resemblance to its original form. Of all the tail-riders, his book is probably most accurate in dissecting what’s fiction and what’s historical fact in The Da Vinci Code.

However, it is ironic that both the original book and all the debunking are missing the point. The book has a great plot, but in the end it turns out that all the bad things were done by misguided individuals rather than directed by a powerful evil consortium (just like in Arlington road, ‘one man alone’, puh-leeze!). And as to the Grail, the conclusion is so wishy-washy, that I wanted to shout in frustration ‘so WHAT the heck is the Grail and HOW do we find it?!?’

Yet, there obviously IS the Holy Grail, and there obviously IS some kind of secret code to crack the mystery. But to get to it, one has to go beyond both Bible-beating and scholarly analysis. We have to remember that Jesus spoke in parables. Therefore some serious thinking required to decipher what the religious texts really say, or hint at, and then we have to figure out how it applies to our lives here and now. A daunting task for sure.

I found one source that deals with the subject in this way, attempting to SEE THE UNSEEN utilizing a variety of resources. If you are interested in what the real Da Vinci Code, may be about, you will appreciate The True Identity of Fulcanelli and The Da Vinci Code,
by Laura Knight-Jadczyk

It is very interesting how the subject of the code is linked to the alchemist and philosopher Fulcanelli; Le Mystere Des Cathedrales has been on my reading list ever since I visited the Cologne cathedral.

Read and see for yourself.

why I homeschool - part 2

For me, academics is an important reason for homeschooling.

I observed my friends with older children, and it seems to me that academic achievement is jut not emphasized in US schools. Only select few take advanced courses in math and science, and what's considered 'advanced' here is a requirement for all students elsewhere! There is a lot of talk of micromanaging the learning with tests and sich (as per No Child Left Behind). However, from what both parents and students talk about, it seems that everyone is only preoccupied with social aspects of school life and extracurricular activities, mostly sports. And how to get into a college, as if this just happens on its own.

As an outsider, I get an impression that public school education is firmly rooted in attitude adjustment and social conditioning. A lot of private schools are no better. The friend's daughter goes to a Catholic school, and her blunders (which she would utter in perfect confidence) made my hair stand on end. And she is a straight A, model student!

For what forms social conditioning often takes, see "Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence" by Rosalind Wiseman. The title pretty much says it all, you can find out more at Amazon. I skimmed through another book by this author, "Odd Girl Out", and plan to get this one soon. My daughter is not even in kinedrgarten, but it's never too early to start getting ready! Because, even though we homeschool, she is bound to encounter some of that - I can't shield her from everything, and this isn't the point anyway.

Another thing that comes to mind when I think of education in US, is that the majority of people in academia and R&D in the States, and especially in lower-level positions (i.e. those who actually do the work), are foreign born and educated.

Consider the following statistics :

"This (the newly imposed visa restrictions - thelegalalien) is a matter of grave concern to us," says David Daniels, dean of the College of Engineering at the University of Illinois. "Roughly half of the students in engineering graduate programs nationwide are from foreign countries."

and here :

"As per figures compiled by NSF researchers Jean Johnson and Mark Regets in 1993 and reported by Gwynne (1999), 431,000 of the total 2,685,000 scientists and engineers with degrees and 101,000 out of 345, 000 with Ph.D.s in the US were born abroad. As stated by Paul Bartlett, president of Hall, Kinion & Associates, US born Caucasians form a minority in most Silicon Valley companies today"

and, mind you, that's engineering, there is a lot more foreigners employed in science depts in US schools. More importantly, the numbers quoted in the article represent faculty. The lower-tire specialists (grad students, postdocs, technicians) are overwhelmingly foreign-born and educated, as my personal experience and that of many others show

I went to graduate school in the US in late 90s and graduated in 2000. In my incoming class in my department (biology), out of 15 students, there wasn't a single US-born person. About one half of the labs in my dept were led by US-born professors, the rest were foreigners. And in all labs, you'd have may be one American born postdoc, and the rest (average I'd say about 7) were foreigners. Same goes for the students.

The only science department that didn't have any foreign students was medical biology, because of the funding restrictions. Engineering has slightly less foreign students than science, then economics, and humanities / liberal arts would have few foreigners (I don't know whether this is because of language barrier or less job opportunities).

Part of the reason for this picture is that the career in research was considered one of the most prestigious at my home country (back when I was little things have changed since), and other around the world. Here, smart young people choose medicine, law, and business: these jobs pay well and provide a measure of independence.

Yet, imagine if all the foreign students, scholars and researchers were to dissapear by magic - there would be no one to continue spinning the wheels, simply because the population in general doesn't have the required educational background, and I mean not in terms of qualification, but in terms of its scope and intensity.

The following article expands this point with some facts and numbers:


Educational complacency will make U.S. feel the pain

By Craig R. Barrett

" When will we wake up and smell the competition? U.S. corporations are begging for talent, as foreignscientists and engineers increasingly find well-payingjobs on their own doorsteps.The balance of innovation has begun to tilt eastward,as China and India start taking their own products to market. For the first time, other nations are about toproduce more U.S. patents per year than the UnitedStates.China and India are expanding their university-levelmath, science and engineering programs at a pacecomparable to the United States after World War II.Asian colleges now produce six times the number ofengineering degrees produced here. "

"one simple reason we're lagging behind:We've institutionalized low performance through lowexpectations. High schools expect only a small numberof students to take the advanced math and sciencecourses young people need.Moreover, all signs suggest that future requirementsfor high school completion may be even less rigorous. Several states, concerned about achievement rates, areconsidering easing their graduation standards, eventhough their exit exams are pegged below the 10th-grade level." *****
Mind you, I don't believe that education in Russia was fundamentally much better. I believe that all insitutionalized learning has flaws that can not be remedied. I fell like I am charting our course on mostly unknown land; but it is better than going down the trail I walked in the past, the one that I know is going nowhere. So, onward!

Friday, February 25, 2005

fake Nikes, fake blogs

Many of us know that there are tons of fakes in that wide world of consumer products. I mean counterfeight merchandise, such as fake Gucci bags and Nike shoes.

While it is upsetting to be burned by those, the most that can happen is that the fake bag or shoes will fall apart within a couple of weeks from the date of purchase, or embarasse you in front of your eagle-eyed friends. Big deal.

Fake news and news reporters, however, present a much more serious matter. Consider, for instance, the Gannongate saga , of which I am sure you have heard plenty:

"James Dale Guckert (c. 1958) worked under the pseudonym Jeff Gannon as a White House reporter between 2003 and 2005, representing Talon News. After Guckert came under public scrutiny [...], he resigned from Talon News on February 8, 2005.
Guckert has stated that he obtained frequent daily passes to White House briefings. He attended four Bush press conferences, and appeared regularly at White House press briefings. Weblogs discovered Gannon's pseudonym and made public his past history, as Guckert, 'Gannon', and 'Bulldog'. Questions have arisen as to Guckert's relationship with the White House and with the Republican Party. Although he did not qualify for a Congressional press pass, Guckert was given daily passes to White House press briefings "after supplying his real name, date of birth and Social Security number."

Notice that weblogs blew the whistle on him. This shows the increased role of blogosphere in current events, and its influence on the information flow.

And just as with everything that becomes popular, you have to start watching out for fakes.

take a look at this :

"MSN Search Finds Viral Campaign
by Shankar Gupta, Thursday, Feb 24, 2005 6:47 AM EST
NOT CONTENT WITH its massive television, Internet, and radio advertising blitz to promote its newly released proprietary search engine MSN Search, MSN apparently has released a viral campaign, “MSN Found,” to promote the search site.
An MSN spokesperson declined to comment on the viral campaign, other than to say: “There is a lot of great content to be found out on the Web. ‘Found’ complements MSN Search by finding more of the unique content on the Web.”
When the MSN Search marketing blitz was being announced, an MSN executive told OnlineMediaDaily that an agency called 42 Entertainment would be creating virals to promote the search engine.
42 Entertainment declined to comment on the campaign, and referred any questions to MSN’s public relations firm. An MSN spokesperson confirmed that 42 Entertainment worked on the viral campaign, saying: “MSN works with a number of third-party companies, and 42 Entertainment has worked on this and a number of other Microsoft projects.”
The ad features six fictional characters, each with their own Web log. They are Reggie, a DJ from London; Tad, a surfer from Venice Beach; Karen, a dog breeder from Sandusky, Ohio; Swing, a hotel concierge from Tokyo; Cy a security guard and conspiracy theorist from Chicago; and Denise, the owner of the new True dating service.
The viral’s main site, www.msnfound.com, collects all the blogs together, along with pictures of the authors. Each of the authors has a unique shtick.
For example, DJ Reggie suggests music for his readers, all conveniently available on MSN’s music page. Several of the blogs also mention the dating site www.True.com; MSN declined to comment on any relationship with the dating service by publication time.
Each blog also has a section called “finds,” which collects four MSN search results pages on things relevant to the blog’s subject matter. Reggie’s music is “vertiginous.” Don’t know what that means? Why, just click on a link to MSN Search (provided on the blog), and it’ll take you to a dictionary entry provided by MSN Answers, one of the selling points of the search engine.
One common thread in all the blogs is the use of other popular Internet phenomena. Surfer Tad’s blog links the infamous exploding whale video, which wasn’t an ad for anything, but became a popular Internet viral.
Searchers using particular terms (“blubber blowout,” in the case of Tad’s exploding whale) for these videos, which have already gained popularity on the Web, are given both a regular organic search page and also a direct link to the various virals, hosted by MSN and with links back to the fictional characters’ blogs.
The blogs’ fictional characters also interact with each other. During the first wave of entries, “Swing” writes about receiving flowers from a secret admirer--while security guard Cy writes that his “impromptu study of human emotional response to unexpected gifts produced highly intriguing results.”"

The last sentense sounds somewhat cheesy to me and obviously made up. But fakes, in time, do get better at imitating the real thing; some of those fake Nikes are so good that only an expert can tell them from the genuine ones.

And this isn't the only case of a big company using the blog phenomenon to promote itself (McDonalds is another example).

So be careful what you read - I know I will be, now that I have read this disturbing article.

forest homeschooling

I don't have much time tonight, so I am just copying one of my favorite articles on homeschooling. Forest homeschooling works! Even though the story has a happy end, it's somewhat ironic how things turned out. The father and the daughter were leading a simple and healthy life, the kind that many of us dream of. And than along comes the police, deems their living conditions 'unacceptable', and decides that they should be a part of the system. And it is all written up in a way that the family has to thankful not to be put in a homeless shelter / foster care!

Another thing to think about is that, if you ever wanted to just drop out for some time and go live in a woods -- guess what? you really can't! All land is taken, either private or government property, and trespassing is against the law.

oh well

Forest family had an elaborate camp among trees

PORTLAND, ORE. - A man and his 12-year-old daughter spent the lastfour years living in a remote hillside in Portland's Forest Park,police said. The pair was discovered in a dense, wooded area by an Australian cross-country runner and his wife.They reported seeing an older man with white bushy hair and a beard,and a young girl at what appeared to be a "well-established transientcamp." They called police on April 28.That afternoon, North Precinct Sgt. Michael Barkley sent fourofficers on all-terrain vehicles to find the pair but they didn'tfind them."We had very little to go on, " Barkley said. "There's no way youcould not do everything you could because it was a report of a childliving up there."The next morning, the runner escorted police to the site.After an hour-and-a-half hike, police found an elaborate camp duginto a steep hillside.Under a tarp-covered, wood-framed shelter, they found sleeping bags,a partially burnt log, a Bible, a stack of old World BookEncyclopedias, rakes and other tools.A rope swing, a tilled vegetable garden and a small creek werenearby.A police dog found the pair huddling behind a tree about 50 yardsfrom the camp.The man and girl told police they had lived in the park for fouryears. The pair appeared clean, well-fed and healthy, Barkley said,and the girl was well-spoken beyond her years.The man, who identified himself as Frank, told police he was a 53-year-old Marine Corps veteran and college graduate who served inVietnam.He came to Oregon with his daughter, Ruth, from Tacoma with no joband virtually no money. Frank told police that the girl's mother wasinstitutionalized in New Hampshire, and the two now lived on a $400-a-month disability check.Rather than live on the streets and expose Ruth to alcohol and drugs,Frank said, they hiked deep into Forest Park and built a lean-to.The pair went into the city twice a week to stop by the bank, attendchurch, buy groceries and clothes from Goodwill. Frank, a devoutChristian, said he taught his daughter using the old encyclopedias.They grew vegetables and used the nearby creek to keep clean. Theystored perishable foods in a small pool of water at the creek's edge.The man and girl told police that the runner was the first person tofind their camp in four years.Their biggest worry was being split up, Barkley said."Please, don't take me from my daddy," the girl told the 26-yearpolice veteran as they sat on a log talking for at least 30 minutes.Barkley, who has a 6-year-old daughter, said he was struck by therelationship between father and daughter."What was so clear was that their living conditions wereunacceptable, but their relationship was a real deep love and caringfor each other," Barkley said.Officer Joe Campbell, who helped find the pair, said separating thepair would have broken their hearts. "Their whole lives seemed torevolve around each other," said Campbell.A pediatrician found the girl free of any illness, any signs ofphysical or sexual abuse - and no cavities. A criminal backgroundcheck came up empty, according to police reports.Even though the child and father lived for such a long timedisconnected from society, the girl had been home schooled and was ingood physical shape.In fact, the girl received a very good education from her fatherwhile living among the trees. Officials said the girl, who would benormally in 7th grade, is at a 12th grade equivalency."When we interviewed this little girl, she was very impressive. Shereally was very responsible, and she really looked as though she wasway advanced in her years," said Portland Police Cmdr. Scott Andersonsaid.KATU Television has been given permission from 'The Forest Family's'father to set up a college fund for 12-year-old 'Ruthie.'To make donations for the girl, who for the last four years havelived in the forest and was educated by her father, to 'Ruthie'sCollege Fund' at any Bank Of America Branch.Police say the father was ecstatic when KATU offered to set up acollege fund for his daughter.The father has done a wonderful job of educating the girl, sayspolice. She reportedly performs at a 12th grade level.Police persuaded them to leave the camp, promising help them findfood and shelter.The pair spent two nights at a homeless shelter. Barkley found theman a job and a place for the two to live on a friend's horse farm inYamhill County.Now, Barkley said, the pair are living in a mobile home and adjustingto life with heat, electricity and electric water.The man mows lawns and is learning to drive a tractor, and the pairride bicycles to a nearby church on Sundays."The amazing part of this was the fact that Sergeant Barkley reallyevaluated what was best for these people," North Precinct Cmdr. ScottAnderson said. "Sometimes police would be a little quicker to hand things off to state workers. But instead ... he saw this through to the end."

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

bad times for homeschooling PR

These are bad times for homeschooling PR; two high profile child abuse cases are making rounds in the news and blogosphere, both involving parents who homeschool.

One is a case of physical and sexual abuse of a 14 y.o. girl in Arizona.
Quoting from the article :

"Abused girl's home prison: a bleak life

As she sat alone, trapped in a small, dark room, the 14-year-old girl tried to remember her multiplication tables.
She hadn't been to school for nearly three years.
Her father and his live-in girlfriend kept her locked in the room, a pink blanket covering the lone window.
Twice a day she was sent to the bathroom to eat a small meal and relieve herself."
There is also this cartoon that kind of goes with it.

Then, there is this horrible story :

Fla. Couple Accused of Torturing Kids

BEVERLY HILLS, Fla. - Only after John and Linda Dollar's 16-year-old son was hospitalized with a head wound did investigators find what they say were signs of abuse at the home: a cattle prod, pliers and what appeared to be toenails.

The Dollars — regarded by state social workers a decade ago as model parents — now stand accused of monstrous acts against five of their eight children, including the 16-year-old, who weighed just 60 pounds when he was hospitalized.

And no amount of discussion and letters to the newspapers will change the fact that through this coverage, 'homeschooling' and 'child abuse' were put together and subtly linked in the minds of average readers. This serves to further stygmatize all homeschoolers and promote anti-homeschooling legislation, as evidenced here :

Abuse case prompts rethink of homeschool laws

After the arrest of a man accused of abusing a daughter who had not been in school in five years, Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano said she plans to examine the state's laws on homeschooling. "

These incidents of abuse make me very angry and upset. I hope that these offenders will be punished with the full extent of the law. I can find no mercy in my heart for them.

What bothers me is the following:

1) If you take a look at the first link above, you'll see that in the case of the abused girl in arizona, there was a police investigation against her father at some point, with Child Protection Services also being involved. Why didn;t they pick up on the abuse? Why wasn't she removed from the house?

2) Similarly, in the case of the Dollars children, they were evaluated at a school at least once, and no one noticed anything. See the quote and .link below:

"The five Citrus County children suspected of being tortured by their adoptive parents were evaluated at a private Hillsborough County school at least once in 2004, a Citrus sheriff's spokeswoman said Wednesday.
As authorities try to determine why no one would have noticed the abuse, the school is the first indication that outside authorities had contact with the children.

3) Not to mention the fact that three of the Dollars children were adopted (see the third link at the beginning). Adoption requires stringent multipart evaluation of parents and household. Why didn't they see any indications of abuse, or its possibility, then and there?

Looks like the failure of the system, yet again.

It is obvious to me that homeschooling doesn't cause abuse. Just as having a stick in your hand doesn't cause you to go and wack someone with it. I can't find the article now, but HSLDA estimated the probability of abuse in homeschooling families to be many times lower than the national average. In that article they cited a few high profile cases from years ago, and pointed out, too, that many times child protection services were there and did their job, but didn't notice anything until it was too late.

Here is a quote from another online source that gives a fair prospective on actual safety of our schildren within the system. From this sample list, I omitted a few entries, but itremains quite impressive nonetheless:

"As documented in Why We Homeschool, children in public schools are regularly brutalized and victimized both by classmates and by educators. [...] Am I? The most recent issue of "Why We Homeschool" (Jan 20, 2001) reported the following items for the preceding seven days. (Keep in mind that these were only the items I happened to stumble across, without looking very hard, in a handful of newspapers. This isn't comprehensive, and it obviously doesn't include any of the incidents that didn't appear in the papers I happened to look at that week, let alone the ones that didn't get media coverage at all.)

Error-filled science textbooks being used by 85 percent of public-school students in America.
US Surgeon General report warns parents to more closely monitor their children's friendships, because peers strongly influence children to commit acts of violence.
Michigan schools join nationwide trend toward school programs that enable -- some would say, encourage -- parents to "ditch" their children for as much as 12 hours a day.
California boy charged with felony for bringing unloaded pellet gun to school.
Tennessee boy arrested for bringing unloaded pellet gun to school for after-school target practice.
Girl suspended for defending herself from assault
Four suspended in Michigan school stabbing
Gun threats in schools in Seattle and Illinois
Police say they'll not hesitate to use deadly force against children who make threats
School shooting in Sweden.
Parent and elementary teacher in fistfight
Alaska teacher molests student
Teacher acquited as 'goofy' for blowing kisses on female students' stomachs
Boy suspended for writing a dramatic presentation on school violence. Educators organize to decry sympathetic media reports.
Principal impregnates 14-year-old student; may lose certification for a few years.

That's not a "year in review." That's ONE SINGLE WEEK! And it's not atypical!"

I rest my case.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

why?

Standing in the kitchen, looking at the clock (it's past midnight already, again, how did this happen?), sipping my cup of tea. Peace and quiet at last.

As the impressions of the day pass again before my eye, I am left with a feeling of sadness. It is due to a realization that crystallized in my mind today.

Homeschooling, music, this business I am working on; all this seemingly unrelated things eventually serve one purpose, underlying all others. I am reassembling myself, piece by piece.

In fact, for quite a few years now, I have been trying to fix myself. And before that, it took me a few years to realize that I am in a mess. I think I figured that one out by my mid-teenage years.

Don't get me wrong, I am a stable individual, never took Prozac or got counceling etc. In general, I appear to have it all together, and by conventional standards I probably do have it together indeed.

I am talking about something different. About seeing the flaws of your personality. Recognizing wrong choices made long time ago, and seeing how they still affect my life today. Feeling helpless in front of your limitations. An urgent desire to change the pattern, to break the intergenerational chain, if not for myself, then for my children and their children.

Kind of like what Castaneda calls recapitulation:

"In order to elicit a seeing response in me, don Juan utilized other foreign units of cognition. One of the most important units, he called the recapitulation, which consisted of a systematic scrutiny of one's life, segment by segment, an examination made not in the light of criticism or finding flaw, but in the light of an effort to understand one's life, and to change its course. Don Juan's claim was that once any practitioner has viewed his life in the detached manner that the recapitulation requires, there's no way to go back to the same life" (p. 4)

this is quoted from here .

see also this
:

"According to Don Juan, recapitulation is an exercise to recall, review, release, and recharge energy. It rids a person of assumptions and preconceptions. It frees locked energy and restores balance. The chief thing about recapitulation that seems to not be clearly stated by the so-called Toltec teachings, is that what it really does is increase awareness, and with awareness, the individual is able to employ will to choose to act differently "


Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of shutting myself in a hotel for a week, so that I could recapitulate undisturbed. So I basically fake it till I make it.

What I realized today is that for years now (YEARS!), I have has an inkling of what's necessary, but lacked awareness and understanding of how to accomplish it. Because of this, I was wobbling here and there aimlessly, like a blind kitten. And only now do I realize WHAT it is that I am doing, and WHY. And that in my last few choices and actions, there is a definite method, an attempt to correct precisely certain imbalances. With an understanding that once it's done (or is on the way), one has to be fluid and move on.

That's encouraging, I guess.

There is a lot of sadness though that comes with it. Why? Why does it have to be this way? Why am I so thick that it takes me forever to see things? And why did I get into this mess in the first place?

Russian literature always was concerned with the issues of moral and social justice. This led one critic to say that the two most important questions in Russian literature are: 'Whose fault is it?', and 'What to do?' (alluding to the two popular novels bearing these respective titles).

It is very tempting to concentrate on the first questions and blame parents, school, society, aliens, or whatever, for all your problems. This does help in understanding things but ultimately solves nothing.

It is much more important to concentrate on the second question. The answers to it aren't readily coming, but they do exist.

Signing off now, good night

Monday, February 21, 2005

the law of three

I would like to use the comment I received on my last post as a platform for further discussion. A guest had the following two questions:

"Do you look for truth in external things?"
"Is the truth not inside of you?"

In turn, I would like to ask the following question: how can you hope to see the truth inside yourself, if you can't see it among the lies of the world around you?

Splitting this in two parts (EITHER external OR internal) is an example of false dichotomy that's so prevalent in the world today. Like in 'if you are not with us, you are against us'.

In this context, attempting to 'see the truth in external things' would amount to chasing fanthoms created by the Matrix. Similarly, 'seeing the truth inside yourself' would amount to staring at your navel, chanting OOM and drowning in subjectivity. Both will get you nowhere.

A fresh approach is necessary. This is straight along the lines of the Gurdjieff's Law of Three. Here is a link to a a primer on Gurdjieff's ideas.


The Third force will put these two parts of the question together. And in my uneducated opinion, the Third Force in this situation is represented by objective study and action.

The thing is, yeah, I would like to be able to look inside myself and see the Truth. I am well aware, however, that this is simply not possible, because my Truth-O-Meter is way out of tune. Blame biology, social conditioning, lies to others, lies to self -- everthing is implicated. And now it's time to clean it all up. So how to do that? Practice objectively seeing the world around me, and acting upon what I see. I tell you, it's not as simple as it sounds, and I have barely scratched the surface.

So, to this two questions, I'd like to answer that they are one and the same, but ONLY if there is objective inquiry and action.

Everywhere you look, there is the Face of God, as Sufis say, but you have to look AND see.


Thank you for an interesting discussion. I keep wanting to write more about homeschooling, hopefully tomorrow. Stay tuned!

Sunday, February 20, 2005

the truth is out there - I hope

As a 'legal alien', and I am using it as a metaphore, I have forgotten where I came from, and developed certain ties and allegiances to this world. Obviously, I belong here now, no matter how strange and incomprehensible it is, and whether I like it or not.

Yet, there is always a hint of another reality existing, the one place that is home, where I long to be. In light of this, I am constantly asking myself the following two questions:

1) Are there other Legal Aliens around me, and where do I find them?

2) How DO I get out of here?

On both of these, there were many false calls that disappointed me, but in a way served to strenghten my reserve.

I have been reading this writer's site for some time now, and I am glad to say that, at the very least, I know that my questions make sense, and somewhere, there are answers to them. And the way to them is through objective research, some serous hunting for clues, and most importantly, applying these principles in my own personal life. It's like, 'the truth is out there' .. ta-da ...

Read here if you are interested, it is a new article.

BTW, I loved Da Vinci Code (this was my 'easy' book for some time), but was disappointed in its wishy-washy ending. This article is a lot more 'stiff', but it does deliver the punch.

Friday, February 18, 2005

the badge story

The following story is true and just happened to a friend of a friend of a friend of mine (... right). I kid you not.

Both that person, let's call him A, and his roommate, let's call him B, work in one of the many State Universities in this country. As you may or may not know, the scientific research in the US is shouldered 90% by foreign scholars and researchers, who slave 60-80 hours a week in their labs, for meager (by US standards) salaries. Which is problematic, because due to recent restrictions in visa application process, the foreign students and scholars express a lot less interest in coming to the US. Some colleges reported a drop in application from abroad by as much as 30%, or so I remember reading somewhere.

Those reluctant foreigners may have some point, judging from what happend to A. Stay tuned.

Anyways, late one evening, A and B were out, and B wanted to use a computer or something. A said, no problem, let's go to my lab. Researchers often work strange hours, so this was nothing unusual for them to go into the lab so late. Now, A and B work for different department, so A's badge lets him access his building, but B's badge doesn't. B's badge only allows him to access his building, which is located right next to A's building.

Sounds complicated, especially considering that there is nothing super secret going on in either buildings, just your basic research.

So, they get into the lab, B checks out his e-mail or whatever, and A starts setting up another batch of experiments (might as well, you know). Then all of a sudden A has to go use the restroom, so he exits the lab, leaving B at the computer, the door ajar, and his badge on the desk.

A security officer just happens to be passing by and sees an open door. He walks in and sees B at the computer. He questions B about his identity and his reasons in being in the lab. B answers that he is here with his roommate. The security officer figures out that B doesn't have access to the building. Then, he sees the badge on the desk. He lets them know they are in trouble, seezes the badge, and leaves.

A comes back from the restroom, sees that his badge is gone, B explains him what just happened.

The next day, A shows up at work and finds out that he has been FIRED. Consider that A has worked in the department for a few years, the last three in his current capacity, putting in crazy hours and basically hauling the project on his back. His professor calls everywhere, pleads in his behalf, and is told that nothing could be done, that A's H-1 (work) visa has been TERMINATED, effective immediately.

The reasons for such drastic action were given as follows: 1) A let an unauthorized person into the building (B, his roommate, an employee in the same university), and 2) A, irresponsibly, left his badge by itself in an open room; this could have had dire consequences if the badge was stolen and used inappropriately.

B got in trouble, too, for unauthorized access of A's building.

A is obviously not without fault here. I don't know about letting B to his lab, I mean, come on, B is a fellow lab rat, what's the big deal? I do agree though that leaving the badge on the desk was indeed rather dumb. Overall, IMO A does deserve some kind of reprimand.

But to be FIRED? For an otherwise model employee, who made an error and was hit by a bad luck, this seems too much. And for the visa to be TERMINATED? Keep in mind that it takes a foreign researcher years to earn the H-1 status; as a rule one has to climb from F (student) or J (visitor), get sponsored by the school, and in general the whole process is quite tricky. But apparently, it takes only a moment of time to undo it all.

I get shivers just thinking about it, because I remember my own visa application and maintenance process. This incident brings up, and intensifies, the feeling of helplessness I had back then. The people higher up in the system have a complete control over you, and hold your life, as you know it, in their hands. If something goes wrong with your visa, you get a swift kick in the butt and fly out of the country faster than you can say 'Good-bye America'. And if you have been out of your home country for years and have neither family now opportunities back there, you land on a very hard place.

Getting back to A's situation, things eventually turned around for him, although he still in a legal and financial limbo. After some scurrying here and there, and F (student) visa was created for him out of thin air. Now he has to find something to study real quick - but he can't work at all. So go figure what to do and how to live.

I remember back when I was a student in another of the many State Universities in this country. My badge was my student ID, and I rarely had to use it, only at night. I could go into my husband's building and meet him there, and it bothered no one - and vice versa. Within a short time though, the security was tightened quite a bit; e.g., I could no longer get into my husband's building without showing my ID (I was in different department, but it was OK). Who knows what it's like there now. May be one should badge in and out of each classrom, I wouldn't be surprised.

Just another Sign of the Times. Keep your eyes peeled.

www.signs-of-the-times.org

and if you want to go tink while at work, please don't forget to take your badge with you. Especially if you are a foreigner.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

a quote

I just wanted to share a quote, translated from this link :

Every child has a natural need to be together with the caring grownup, a parent or a teacher, to be understood and taken seriously. In a way, the child wants to be reflected in the grownup, looks at him and sees herself, as in a mirror. However, it is only possible if the grownup sees the child as the being of her own, unlike any other – and not his own expectations, fears, and plans, projected onto the child. In the latter case, the grownup, instead of the child, sees the mountain of his problems, while the child cannot see herself at all. And, not seeing herself, she looses herself.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Why I homeschool - part 1

For me, homeschooling is the path of Service To Others and self-discovery. It is also the choice that results in isolation from society, in more ways than are initially obvious.

I'm not going to rant on about benefits, glory and wonders of homeschooling, trying to convince you that I 'm right, or just trying to make my opinion heard. Heck, if I can't even talk about it with my own family, I don't have much hope with strangers.

The truth is, only as I started homeschooling, I began to discover the reasons why I am doing it, and I continue to discover more every day.

Ever heard the expression 'once you have truly learned the program, just plug it in?' Basically, if you have been through a bad situation and learned your lessons, you should be able to read the signs and spot a similar bad situation that may be coming your way. Then, you'll be able to take action and avoid the situation altogether, instead of stepping twice on the same rake.

See, for me, the possibility of public (or private for that matter) school for my children is that rake, poised to wack them between their innocent eyes. I have been hit enough with it, I know what it feels like, and it is my responsibility as a parent to do all I can so that it doesn't happen to them.

Now, are they ultimately going to be better off for being homeschooled?
Basing on what I know and see, I think so. However, there is no way I can tell for sure. I do not exlude the possibility that one day they'll hate me for that. Or they may thank me. The future is open.

I do not want them to be genuises, win Spelling Bees, or be violin prodigies, do this and that by a certain (early!) age. No anticipation. It would make me very happy if they have a chance to develop their physical bodies, minds, and souls, and discover what they are here for. It is up to them to take that chance and act upon it.

And yet, every say I discover how hard it really is for me NOT to anticipate, and how pervasive is the desire to mold reality to my own notions of how things should be.

Chekhov said that one should "every day, squeeze the slave out of yourself, drop by drop". We were repeated this expression in school many times. I don't think the teachers themselves knew what this meant. They didn't overburden us with interpretations, but the unspoken assumption was that it referred somehow to class struggle (welcome to the Soviet Union). This sentence always seemed austere to me. I imagined myself turning into a tube of toothpaste, and sqeezing out white paste that turned into a crooked and disgusting little person. I immediately felt nauseated.

Only now do I get a glimpse of what this really means. We are but slaves to our programs, biologically based behavioral pattens, deeply imbedded in our brains. I am still not sure about sqeezing anything out of myself, but recognizing programs, purifying yourself, definitely comes to mind. Sound a lot like alchemy. Some think this is exactly what alchemy was about, too. Or unplugging yourself from the Matrix, call it whatever you want. Gosh, if only it was as easy as pulling wires out of the back of your head.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

more trouble ahead

This is yet another of those days when I don't know what I am doing on this planet, and why I brought my children here.

"A car-bombing in Beirut has murdered Rafik Hariri, who had quit as Lebanon’s prime minister last October, calling on Syria to take its troops out of his country. Was it Syrian revenge, internal Lebanese score-settling or an effort to destabilise the wider region?"

For an extensive analysis, go to
The Signs of The Times page.

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