Why I homeschool - part 1

For me, homeschooling is the path of Service To Others and self-discovery. It is also the choice that results in isolation from society, in more ways than are initially obvious.

I'm not going to rant on about benefits, glory and wonders of homeschooling, trying to convince you that I 'm right, or just trying to make my opinion heard. Heck, if I can't even talk about it with my own family, I don't have much hope with strangers.

The truth is, only as I started homeschooling, I began to discover the reasons why I am doing it, and I continue to discover more every day.

Ever heard the expression 'once you have truly learned the program, just plug it in?' Basically, if you have been through a bad situation and learned your lessons, you should be able to read the signs and spot a similar bad situation that may be coming your way. Then, you'll be able to take action and avoid the situation altogether, instead of stepping twice on the same rake.

See, for me, the possibility of public (or private for that matter) school for my children is that rake, poised to wack them between their innocent eyes. I have been hit enough with it, I know what it feels like, and it is my responsibility as a parent to do all I can so that it doesn't happen to them.

Now, are they ultimately going to be better off for being homeschooled?
Basing on what I know and see, I think so. However, there is no way I can tell for sure. I do not exlude the possibility that one day they'll hate me for that. Or they may thank me. The future is open.

I do not want them to be genuises, win Spelling Bees, or be violin prodigies, do this and that by a certain (early!) age. No anticipation. It would make me very happy if they have a chance to develop their physical bodies, minds, and souls, and discover what they are here for. It is up to them to take that chance and act upon it.

And yet, every say I discover how hard it really is for me NOT to anticipate, and how pervasive is the desire to mold reality to my own notions of how things should be.

Chekhov said that one should "every day, squeeze the slave out of yourself, drop by drop". We were repeated this expression in school many times. I don't think the teachers themselves knew what this meant. They didn't overburden us with interpretations, but the unspoken assumption was that it referred somehow to class struggle (welcome to the Soviet Union). This sentence always seemed austere to me. I imagined myself turning into a tube of toothpaste, and sqeezing out white paste that turned into a crooked and disgusting little person. I immediately felt nauseated.

Only now do I get a glimpse of what this really means. We are but slaves to our programs, biologically based behavioral pattens, deeply imbedded in our brains. I am still not sure about sqeezing anything out of myself, but recognizing programs, purifying yourself, definitely comes to mind. Sound a lot like alchemy. Some think this is exactly what alchemy was about, too. Or unplugging yourself from the Matrix, call it whatever you want. Gosh, if only it was as easy as pulling wires out of the back of your head.