The Giving Tree

Somebody recently mentioned a book called "The Giving Tree" by Shel
Silverstein. This is one of the beloved modern children's classics in
the English-speaking world. So I got out my copy and revisited it.

If you have never read, or don't remember this story, I transcribed it
below (minus the author's poignant illustrations).

If you look at the Amazon reviews ,
it is clear that the readers' opinion is very polarized: the majority
of reviewers loved it, while a small minority couldn't stand it. The
debate is never about the writing style but rather the message itself
– and some people do argue quite seriously.

Those who like the story consider it to be a great description of a
pure unconditional love, such as a parent gives to a child. Those who
hate it say that glorifies both the `take-all' mindset and giving to
the point of self-destruction.

I have read as an adult and admit to being repulsed by it from the
first take, to the point of being physically nauseated. The
relationship depicted in it is vampiric and ultimately destructive to
both parties, yet is being held up as a model. The old "giving until
it hurts and giving because it hurts" thing.

I am wondering though if I was somewhat biased by a dedication written
on the cover by my MIL to my husband (he had it since he was about 9),
going on and on about how wonderful and special this book is. This is
the same person who since had practically disowned us -- and we could pretty much already see it coming back long before I was first reading that book :(

However, I think taht m opinion would have been the same regardless of that dedication. I have never been in the "giving tree" situation for prolonged periods of time, yet I have a very low tolerance for this kind of relationship and feel the pain of it in my bones. I hope I have already somehow learned this lesson -- perhaps paying for it dearly.

Here is the story:
***
THE GIVING TREE by Shel Silverstein

Once there was a tree … and she loved a little boy. And every day the
boy would come, and he would gather her leaves, and make them into
crowns, and play king of the forest. He would climb up her trunk, and
swing from her branches, and eat apples. And they would play
hide-and-go-seek. And when he was tired, he would sleep in her shade.
And the boy loved the tree … very much. And the tree was happy.

But time went by. And the boy grew older. And the tree was often
alone.

Then one day the boy came to the tree and the tree said, "Come, Boy,
come and climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and eat apples
and play in my shade and be happy."

"I am too big to climb and play," said the boy. "I want to buy things
and have fun. I want some money. Can you give me money?"

"I'm sorry," said the tree, "but I have no money. I have only leaves
and apples. Take my apples, Boy, and sell them in the city. Then you
will have money and you will be happy."

And so the boy climbed up the tree and gathered her apples and carried
them away.

And the tree was happy.

But the boy stayed away for a long time … and the tree was sad. And
then one day the boy came back and the tree shook with joy and she
said, "Come, Boy, come and climb up my trunk and swing from my
branches and eat apples and play in my shade and be happy."

"I am too busy to climb trees," said the boy. "I want a house to keep
me warm," he said. "I want a wife and I want children, and so I need
a house, Can you give me a house?"

"I have no house," said the tree. "The forest is my house, but you
may cut off my branches and build a house. Then you will be happy."

And so the boy cut off her branches and carried them away to build his
house.

And the tree was happy.

But the boy stayed away for a long time. And when he came back, the
tree was so happy she could hardly speak. , "Come, Boy," she
whispered, "come and play."

"I am too old and sad to play," said the boy. "I want a boat that
will take me far away from here. Can you give me a boat?"

"Cut down my trunk and make a boat," said the tree. "then you can
sail away … and be happy."

And so the boy cut down her trunk and made a boat and sailed away.

And the tree was happy … but not really.

And after a long time the boy came back again. "I am sorry, Boy,"
said the tree, "but I have nothing left to give you – My apples are gone."

"My teeth are too week for apples," said the boy.

"My branches are gone ," said the tree. "You cannot swing on them –"

"I am too old to swing on branches," said the boy.

"My trunk is gone," said the tree. "You cannot climb—"

"I am too tired to climb," said the boy.

"I am sorry," sighed the tree. "I wish that I could give you
something … but I have nothing left. I am just an old stump. I am
sorry …"

"I don't need very much now," said the boy, "just a quiet place to sit
and rest. I am very tired."

"Well," said the tree, straightening herself up as much as she could,
"well, an old stump IS good for sitting and resting. Come, Boy, sit
down. Sit down and rest."

And the boy did.

And the tree was happy.

(c) Shel Sylverstein